Surprises
by robert3A-SN
Summary: A short fic in which SpongeBob actually succeeds in helping out Squidward for once. How? Read and see! And now that the review section is back up I hope you'll comment as well


"Sigh. Well here we are again at the worst part of the day. Closing time!", lamented Mr Krabs as he reluctantly switched the open sign on the Krusty Krab to closed- meaning no more money making today! Behind him though, cashier Squidward had a far less tearful reaction. "Cry baby, at least the worst part of _his_ day happens this late", muttered Squidward to himself, although muttering it was no different than saying it out loud because Mr Krabs happened to hear him anyway.  
  
"I'll ignore the insult and say you have a point, Mr Squidward. Besides, I still have the best part of the day left! Come on then, thank me for not being mad at you by leaving and taking the yellow guy with you, me money pool won't be swam in all by itself!, said Mr Krabs in a hurry as he quickly anticipated adding the money made from today into his little- well not little- pool. "Fine, I'm gone, and gladly too." replyed Squidward, a promise he kept as he walked out the doors. That didn't stop him from wincing a bit as he heard an all too familar voice crying out behind him.  
  
"Bye Mr Krabs, enjoy the swim, hope the money's fine!", bellowed out fry cook SpongeBob- the last person Squidward needed to hear from during his walk back to his house and back to some kind of sanity. But as usual, SpongeBob didn't appear to share that opinion as he cheerfully, and obliviously, followed Squidward on his walk.  
  
"Ah, another great, happy, fun day gone by, eh Squidward?" cheered SpongeBob. However, Squidward said nothing in reply, hoping that maybe if he said nothing, SpongeBob would stop before he got really annoying and he could head home with his civility intact. Still, he kept going. "I take it from your lack of response that you agree with me, you'd say something if you didn't, so it's unanimous, this was a great day!" answered SpongeBob. "But why should I be surprised, every day is a super, sunshiny, supertastic day when you're living and working your dream job and doing what you've always wanting to do! It feels great, doesn't it Squidward? Um, Squidward, you don't have to keep quiet, you can say you agree with me now. Squidward? Squidward?"  
  
Forget civility, thought Squidward, saving his ears from hearing his neighbor and co-worker's idiotic and completly untrue- even for him- ramblings was top priority now. "You know, SpongeBob, I wouldn't quite agree with the living the dream part exactly." started Squidward.   
  
"I guess you're right, it's not exactly a dream because we're awake. Then again, what if we're really asleep and the whole world is a dream and the real us is asleep in some frozen chamber and the real world is a desolate, dirty place?! Squidward, do you have any pins, I think I'll need to pinch myself with more than one to wake up!", panicked SpongeBob. That whole theory was compleatly inaccurate, but for Squidward, it served well as a final straw.  
  
"WILL YOU LISTEN FOR ONCE IN YOUR BRAINLESS LIFE?!! SOME OF US AREN'T TOO INTERESTED IN THINKING WORKING IN A GREASE FILLED DEATH TRAP IS A DREAM, SOME OF US WANT MORE FORFILLING AND LESS SICKENING WAY TO LIVE, BUT SOME PEOPLE DON'T CARE TO SEE THAT, NOW DO THEY?! SO I DON'T SEE HOW STAYING IN SAID SICKENING PLACE AS AN POOR ALTERNATIVE IS ANYTHING BUT A NIGHTMARE, IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING! NOW JUST STOPPING RUBBING IT IN AND LET ME MOPE IN PEACE, YOU STUPID YELLOW BOOB!!" finished a now nearly hourse Squidward, who then made it a point to stomp away.  
  
SpongeBob, when not trying to shake the deafening noise Squidward made out of his ears, was preparing to grant Squidward's request and start to hope he'd accept whatever apology he could think of later, until he thought of something. "Hey, you've called me names as a joke before, but never in that much of a shouting manner. Something else must be bothering you!", he called out as he ran back to Squidward.  
  
"Oh, now you pick the time to figure out something right.", Squidward responded. "Come on, what's bothering the old Squidster?", asked SpongeBob. "Nothing, at least it will be nothing when the thing making me angry stops being 5 feet away from me. Why don't you help me out by doing just that?", replyed Squidward.  
  
"Um, I'd rather like to know what's wrong than try to figure out what you just asked. Now come on, your guts obviously want to be spilled, and I'm just the guy to catch them!", SpongeBob prodded. Of course, the other last thing Squidward needed was to be reduced to confiding to SpongeBob, of all the people that couldn't possibly do him any good, partically since he never had before. Perhaps it was time to get back to the yelling again to get that across, though his throat wouldn't allow it to be as vocal as before, but it'd have to do.  
  
"Listen SpongeBob, if I wanted or needed to have my guts spilled I'd do it in my own time and not to you, of all people or whatever you are. If you want to help, do so by doing something you've never done before, leave me in peace!" Squidward chuckled the tinest bit at that very, very true finale to his request. However SpongeBob wasn't laughing at his jokes for once.  
  
"I guess to you that's funny, so here's something I find funny. You're calling me names and yet I still want to know what's wrong so I can help you. Now maybe that's not laugh out loud funny, but it is kind of a thinking person's joke, to make you think that maybe if someone's that committed to help out, it could be useful. And that's what makes it funny, and you've gotta hopefully admit, true too, right?", SpongeBob asked, though it felt kind of unusual for him to talk in a serious tone like that.  
  
Squidward wasn't openly moved by the joke, but he figured perhaps if he said something, it'd end this ordeal quickly and he could go home quickly. Besides, thinking about what happened earlier was starting to get him in an appropriatly sad mode. "Okay fine, be my guest SpongeBob. Let's see if your wise wisdom can disguse the fact that once again, my paintings and art were turned down by the town museum, I was mocked and belitted for it, my attempts to win them over with my clarinet made things worse, and all my creative dreams once more came a step closer to an early dream grave!", Squidward shouted out. "There, you have your answer, now let the hyped up but surely useless help begin!", he finished as his tear ducts began to open and the actual tears, accompanied by his nasal crys, came out.  
  
SpongeBob on the other hand, was doing just as much thinking as he was crying, and the more he thought, the more both those things were overshadowed by his guilt. "What was I thinking? You were all sad about that stuff and I just kept on talking and talking and probably making it worse! I am so sorry, Squidward!" SpongeBob said in a hopeful for forgiveness turn. However, Squidward, though no longer crying, was still a bit too busy sulking to notice that for once, his neighbor actually got the situation and his bothersome role in it right on the nose. SpongeBob knew he did that without Squidward having to tell him though, so he thought frantically for something to say that would make up for it and cheer Squidward up. Finally he thought of something that would at least be good for a first try.  
  
"You know, if those people don't like your art and stuff, you know what? It's their loss." "Tell me something I haven't figured out already, but since it reaffirms the fact that this town is full of dolts incapable of appreciating talent, it doesn't bring that much happiness", Squidward answered SpongeBob, who now returned to thinking very hard for his next attempt.  
  
"Well, I know someone that does appreciate your talent, and he's about 5 feet away from you!" SpongeBob happily said. "That'd be nice if you weren't, well, you and were someone actually important like the ones back at the museum", was the only thing Squidward had to say in return.  
  
"What do they really know? They don't know you, and they don't know all the hard work you put into your art and stuff, and they don't watch from their windows next door and see your creative process from your open window, plus they don't know how dedicated you are to making them see that! You're a great artist Squidward, and people that only know you for one day and not, well, how long have I lived next door to you again? Well anyway, those other kind of people can't see your talent very well, that I'm sure of." SpongeBob started to catch his breath after finishing his speech while Squidward took it all in- but not before making a note to close his window while he was working from now on.  
  
"That's kind of what I would have thought if my depression would have let me, except you would have been nowhere near it. You know, some of what you said is right, as scary as that is. I know I'm talented, but why can't they see it?!" Squidward finished with a touch of bitterness. He would have gone on until a snooty voice started answering his question behind his back.  
  
"Perhaps because we have eyes maybe?" said the voice's owner, a bloated, monocle wearing whale, who was obviously one of the witnesses to Squidward's little show earlier. "Though at the end you did make sure our ears suffered quite a bit too, I have to give you credit for that." "Um, mr art critic or art worker or whatever you do to look fancy, sir, isn't that a tiny bit of an exaggeration?" asked SpongeBob.  
  
"And who do you happen to be to judge that, are you an art and music expert, or just a mere friend or neighbor to the squid here?", inquired the whale. "Hey, you're right on the last two parts, how did you know? Have you been spying on me without my knowledge for some sort of TV show?" SpongeBob wondered, temporarily getting off his train of thought.  
  
Squidward though, was getting more anxious to end this uncomfortable situation. "Um, perhaps this isn't the best place to talk about this, if it's in fact all right to discuss it at all-" "Nonsense, Mr Tentencles, let him talk. I like to hear the common people talk, it gives me a good laugh." said the whale. Squidward however, had a far more worried attitude. It was only too bad that he couldn't pray for SpongeBob not to mess up and embarass him too much.  
  
The whale started the process out. "Now mr sponge, you said that I was being unfair, why is that?" "Actually I said you were exagerrating, mr rich whale, if we're going to talk about this shouldn't both of us know what we're talking about?", answered SpongeBob. Squidward could only shake his head and prepare himself for the worst.  
  
"Yes, my mistake, you said I exaggerated. Now what evidence do you have to back that up?", requested the whale. "Evidence? I thought we were talking about that you're wrong about Squidward because he's talented, why do you keep trying to confuse me? Then again, that's probably a tactic rich people use quite well, I should probably remember to tell Mr Krabs that tomorrow. But then again, he's already rich, but then again again..." SpongeBob would have kept trailing off if the whale hadn't started talking again.  
  
"Let's focus on the only part of that speech I can debate, though it'll be a short one. If you're his friend and neighbor, then you of all people should know of the, shall we say, shortcomings in Mr Tentencles creations. Shortcomings which are, basically, the fact that they're no good." "That's not true!" was the response SpongeBob gave to the whale. "So you haven't once been compelled to buy earplugs after his clarinet shows?", asked the whale.  
  
"Boy, you rich people are smart. Okay, maybe he's not the best guy at all that stuff, but you don't have to wreck his dreams like you did today.", protested SpongeBob. "Trust me, judging from what I saw, I'm doing him a favor. Now he won't have to waste his life on a useless, stupid dream, right? I mean, there's only so long you can take failure before you realize you're an idiot for trying, wouldn't you agree?", the whale offered.  
  
Squidward was once again, for the third time today by his count, on the verge of believing the whale's theory and all the other theorys like it. In fact, he was so absorbed into weighing the pros and cons of the debate he didn't notice that someone was balancing Squidward's sadness with anger, and very uncharacteristic anger at that. The whale also didn't notice that until the owner of the anger suddenly exploded.  
  
"Listen you bloated, snobbish rich guy, just because you can buy and sell millions of dollars, and just because you can probably buy and sell us and probably have the potential to mess up our personal records and ruin our lives with whatever power you have, doesn't give you the right to insult and hurt an artist like Squidward, got it?!!", yelled SpongeBob. The whale could only laugh when he was done though. "You're right, I'm rich enough to do all that stuff, so why am I wasting my time listening to lies?" the whale responded. "Because they are lies, and I can't stand by and let your inability to realize that hurt my friend anymore!" was SpongeBob's less passionate but still angry reply. "Then move out of my way and spare us all some trouble and wasted breath", said the whale as he walked right past SpongeBob. However, he ran back to him a second later.  
  
"Where's three of my six wallets, they were right in my pocket a second ago, where is their new place of residence?!", the whale asked. "Hmm, good question. Maybe I can find the name of a good detective to find the answer in my wallet." SpongeBob answered as he took out a wallet. After searching for it, he took out another one and looked through that, and then looked through another one just as the whale figured out why those wallets looked familar. "My wallets, how did you pickpocket those?! Give those back, commoner!" demanded the whale. "Do you like wallets enough to take back what you said?" "Not a chance!" was the whale's answer to SpongeBob.  
  
SpongeBob's own answer was to dive away from the whale as he reached for his wallets, as well as jumping away and diving between the whale's legs in crazy fashion. In any other situation Squidward probably wouldn't have laughed, but since he wasn't on the other end of it and someone who really deserved it was, it was hilarious. Finally though, SpongeBob was starting to tire.  
  
"Are you through playing this not very fun game, mr sponge?" The whale now stood in waiting expecting to get his wallets back. "Okay, I guess I drained all the fun out of this. Here you go." replyed SpongeBob as he prepared to hand the wallets back- until he threw his arm back and threw the wallets far away. "Oops, I guess they slipped out, that may not be fun but you gotta admit, if those weren't yours you'd think it's funny!" SpongeBob laughed as the whale rushed over to find his wallets- not realizing he was headed right for a jellyfish field. The sound of electrical shocks heard about 5 seconds later proved that he figured it out too late. Squidward meanwhile, was now rolling on the ground laughing at that fact.  
  
"I, I can't believe it. You of all people luring him to the biggest shock of his life!" Squidward remarked. "Well I don't know him that well so I don't know if he's had bigger shocks, and I didn't know there was a jellyfish field there, but I suppose it'll do to teach him a lesson about hurting my friend." was all SpongeBob had to say to that. "SpongeBob? Um, well, um, look, this isn't something I normally say or consider saying very often, but, well, I guess it's only fair to say, well...." "You're welcome, Squidward", was SpongeBob's answer to Squidward's stammer filled thanks. Though it wasn't a bad attempt for someone who wasn't used to thanking people, Squidward knew he still had something to say since he couldn't remember the last time someone stood up for him like that- if at all. "Um, SpongeBob? About the stupid boob wisecrack earlier, well, if you had done that whole anger trip on the whale before, I wouldn't have been so angry, but, well, in light of that perhaps I should have seen that earlier, so, um, I guess I'm trying too..." Squidward said before he was interrupted.   
  
"Apology accepted, Squidward, I'm used to all those jokes in which you say you hate me. I know they're lies but, on the off chance they become truth one day, I hope you realize everything I may have done to make that happen happened because I tried to help you. You can hate my guts all you want as long as you know that I wanted nothing out of our relationship but for you to be happy, okay? Heh, this whole talking seriously thing may be helpful, but it's less fun than regular talking, luckly I've got all my fun gmes with Gary to look forward to later to change that! Gasp, he's probably getting upset and tired that I'm not there yet, I'd better get home before he chews up the bed again, bye Squidward!" SpongeBob said as his voice trailed off while he ran back home. And Squidward, though normally relieved to see the sight of him leaving, this time had more friendly thoughts in his head about him than when this usually happened.  
  
"Heh. You know, sometimes that guy can really surprise you." 


End file.
